..."If Only In My Dreams~"

I always have such grand intentions for Christmas, and hardly ever end up executing them. This year, for example, I was aiming low and simply wanted to get cards out to everyone, and now it's less than a week before and they're definitely not going to make it in time. Little by little I'm trying to be better at sending things, but it seems that won't happen for this holiday...

On the flip side of that, I am incredibly blessed by the thoughtfulness of my friends and family. Christmas in Japan definitely does not feel the same as Christmas back home, but the love and consideration I receive feels even stronger. It can be rough, especially when listening to Christmas music in my car and Judy Garland croons out in Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas "someday soon we all will be together, if the fates allow. Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow" or when O Holy Night comes on and I miss singing in church on Christmas Eve.

But the bottom line is, thanks to everyone's kindness I know "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams." Thank you for all of your support during my journey here. Every little thing, I truly do cherish <3

A JET Reader (Year 2, Autumn)

Autumn: September 1st-November 30th 2014

READ:
Shadow of Night
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Ruin
The Book of Life
Hyperbole and a Half
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Peril
Insurgent

READING:
Death Comes to Pemberley
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Sorrow

STALLED:
Albrecht Durer: A Biography

PLANNING TO READ:
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Flame
The Blood of Olympus
Allegiant
The Third Kingdom
Ready Player One

(plus a lot of books I want to re-read ><;;; )

Shadow of Night (All Souls Trilogy #2)
This was my second visit to Blackfriars and it was really bittersweet to meet the neighbors once more. I had vague memories of dissatisfaction from the first time I read it, so I was a bit stubborn this time and less forgiving. I definitely shifted my loyalty from the main characters to side characters, and I think my not holding the main characters up so highly in my expectations allowed them more room to do what they needed to do. By the end of the book, I think we reached an agreement and I found I no longer had any feelings of dissatisfaction over any of it.

Cast in Ruin (Chronicles of Elantra #7)
I think I actually started reading this book right after I finished the previous one months ago, because the beginning felt vaguely familiar (for about 20 pages haha). Since Katie started re-reading the series and we have been comparing notes, getting back into Elantra wasn't too difficult. I find I'm far to fond of screen-printing when I read eBooks I want to talk about, because practically every conversation Kaylin had between Severn or Nightshade was cataloged... 

The Book of Life (All Souls Trilogy #3)
Since I could start out this final installment with a better perspective than when I started the second, I definitely enjoyed this book more. I felt that there was a multitude of engaging secondary characters to look out for and as always the sass-backs were strong. It's exactly the kind of fulfilled feeling I needed at the end of this trilogy. There was much weeping, but in a good, cathartic way that left me in a bewildered book-hangover afterwards. 

Hyperbole and a Half (recommended and borrowed from Courtney)
I don't actively read Allie Brosh's website, but I've always enjoyed the posts I was linked to. This is definitely a quick read, but I ended up spacing it out over nearly three months. I used it as my Book-Hangover book, to get me through my feelings after Mirror Sight and The Book of Life (both completely different types of "hangovers" haha). Her stories are ridiculous in the way only true stories can be, and her insecurity-baring-honesty is actually quite empowering, as of course I can relate to some of her logic.

Cast in Peril (Chronicles of Elantra #8)
This book was SO THOROUGHLY DOCUMENTED in my notes of it that I'm not even sure what to say. I loved when the scene for the final confrontation was being set because it felt like a video game where you think you're fighting the final stage of a boss only to find out you must go further up and further in, solve a puzzle to defeat his minions, and then face the "Main Boss"; only to have the battle stop and switch to a cut-scene where you defeat him with your humanity. It was pretty great (and there has been a lot of character development for Teela, Severn, and the Consort, so that's always fun).

Insurgent (Divergent Trilogy #2)
To be honest, I was quite close to quitting this book. I loved Divergent the first time I read it a few years ago but was a bit of a let-down this read-through. And now with Insurgent it felt as if all the things I was wary of in this re-read of Divergent were made even more unbearable in Insurgent. I find the concepts in this book fascinating, but I become too engrossed in stories and their characters to not be affected when people are killed left and right and main characters are thrown into self-loathing despair and no longer want to live. I was mollified enough by the end to still want to read the final installment, but I feel like I should prepare myself for the worst. I wouldn't recommend these to anyone because I wouldn't want to be the cause of added sorrow in their life.

Words Words Words...

Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words!

-Eliza Dolittle

Considering my current occupation has to do with language, I’ve been thinking about words a lot. I don’t think I appreciated how privileged I was in my chosen silence back home, now that I lack the ability (and not the desire) to break it. Having to consciously choose words and their order, as well as cultural nuances that just don’t transfer over, builds my anxiety upon an already higher-than-normal threshold. The most recent example of how debilitating this can be is quite simple: I need a haircut. In the US I was always reluctant to call for appointments, but when pressed I would do it. Here, it’s not only the normal phone anxiety, but also the Japanese anxiety, as well as not knowing the specific expressions and phrases used for haircuts or the making of their appointments. So I’ve gone nearly a year and a half now without a haircut and am probably going to give up and attempt one myself.

Besides the situational woes of (foreign) language, I find more and more the shortcomings. A feeling I may be able to say in one or two words in one language would take sentences to describe in the other because of the understood context. More often than not, I end up speaking too much in an attempt to properly explain myself and to not offend the other party (which probably only frustrates them anyway).

Something that’s really been on my mind lately is writing. Any of you who know me know I love to read. I’m always in the middle of at least one if not several books at all times. Because I love reading I’ve always wanted to write my own stories and give back to the metaphorical pool. And while I can imagine interesting scenarios or characters or places, it’s so difficult to accurately transcribe them. Sure, with whatever I write down I can recall the emotional and psychological response that originally prompted it, but even then I can see how hollow it would seem to others because I know the words are only the barest shadow of what I’m really seeing and feeling.

On another note, this blog is a great example of my incompetence at language. I cannot convey why seemingly monotonous day-to-day occurrences make me beam with happiness without explaining fully the situations that led up to them and my reactions. Likewise, the frustrating or sorrowful moments cannot be accurately conveyed without causing others worry or grief. I don’t want to sound self-glorifying or self-pitying. Nor do I want to boast in my circumstances or deride them. And so, I usually rely on the old saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

I am sorry. One would think the whole point of a blog is to have a streamlined way of sharing my experiences here, and I had wanted that to be so. And while I do not plan on discontinuing with any certain finality, I also do not plan on feeling guilty anymore for not posting something regularly. One thing I can “update” about my life here is that I’m striving to no longer be apologetic for my existence. It kind of feels like I’ve become a bit jaded, but I’m finding fewer and fewer excuses for other people when they’re rude or unkind. And while I’ll still forgive them, I don’t care to indulge them anymore. My time is better spent without the extra hot air. 

A JET Reader (Year 1, Summer Semester: Final)

Even with all of the hiking, camping, mountains climbing, and traveling that happened this summer, I'm pretty happy with this book list.

(Roughly starting from when I arrived in Japan around August 3rd)

20 Total:     12 New     8 Re-read

READ:
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Fury
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Silence 
The Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero
Northanger Abbey
North and South
Daughter of the Forest
Mistborn: The Final Empire
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Chaos
The Name of the Wind
Green Rider
The Wise Man's Fear
Mistborn: The Well of Ascension
A Discovery of Witches
The Maze Runner
First Rider's Call 
Divergent
The High King's Tomb
Blackveil
Mistborn: The Hero of Ages
Mirror Sight

READING:
Hyperbole and a Half
Shadow of Night

STALLED:
Albrecht Durer: A Biography
The Scorch Trials
Insurgent

DROPPED:
Cold Mountain

PLANNING TO READ:
The Third Kingdom
Ready Player One
Chronicles of Elantra: Cast in Ruin
Allegiant
The Book of Life

(any and all of the eReader books I want to re-read)

Listened to:
The Heroes of Olympus: The Son of Neptune
The Heroes of Olympus: The Mark of Athena
The Heroes of Olympus: The House of Hades


The Maze Runner (Maze Runner #1)
I honestly hadn't heard of this book until I found out there was a movie being made of it. And since I happen to like the actor playing the main character, and I needed a quick "cheeseburger" read as a friend dubbed it, I found the book on the JDL online resources list and borrowed it.
Though thrown in with other young adult distopian reads such as The Hunger Games and Divergent, I didn't stick to this story as quickly or as strongly as I did the others. It was interesting, but maybe not as elaborate as the others. I'm reserving full assessment for when I finish the trilogy, since I'm sure much of the explanation lacking in the first book will be made up in the following installments.

First Rider's Call (Green Rider Series #2)
There is so much to this book that I hadn't recalled! I know this is only my second read through, but it's strange how I only remember one or two points from this book. I thought much of it happened in the later books, so now I wonder what trauma is in store for me next (since it only gets worse). I like some characters much more, and notice their involvement in actions that will ripple to later events. Other characters I once blindly followed at this point last time I am now already wary of their potential betrayal (well, at least what I feel as a betrayal...)

The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus #4)
I really need someone to talk with about this series. Even with the attention lag of listening to this as an audio book and not actively reading it, I still found myself jumping up and down in triumph as I walked around cleaning my house or making dinner at every beautifully delivered line. It's as if all of the snarky sassy-ness of the first four Harry Potter books were condensed down and mixed with the last three's sense of impending doom. With the chapter split character perspectives, the level of characterization and development never dragged. The final book in the series will come out in the beginning of October, but I doubt the JDL will get the audio-book, (let alone the eBook) for a while...

Divergent (Divergent Trilogy #1)
After a long wait (two years...) I finally was able to re-read this. The first time that I finished it, I wanted to flip it back open and immediately start it again (that was the first summer I started cataloging my reading lists on here and had a mountain I wanted to accomplish). As always, I liked the perspective on fear that is explored in the story, but I think maybe this time I was a little too caught up in the way I thought things happened and was a little let down by how fast things progress? It seemed less believable to me this time around how much of a beating they take during training just to get up the day after next and be fine, and that they'd develop such advanced skills and strength within the span of days (not even two weeks). I enjoyed it, but I didn't have enough steam to continue reading Insurgent much farther than was needed to solve the minor cliff-hanger at the end of the story.

High King's Tomb (Green Rider Series #3)
(And this story is why I didn't bother continuing with Insurgent~) I truly adore this series and continue to be amazed by the details (and glaring plot developments) that I've forgotten. This one sticks with me a little more because the characters are on very clear trajectories and major players are beginning to show their hands. The Second Empire becomes more than a cult-ish, inbred group of radicals as it teams up with Mirwellian thugs opposing the king. The White World continues to play an important role, and Karigan continues to persevere through the various difficulties and heart-aching revelations that come at her daily.

Blackveil (Green Rider Series #4)
(moving right along...) I pushed through this almost as fast as when I first read it three summers ago--also in Japan. Re-reading this connected me back to the feelings I held for it then, but I was surprised to find I had unfairly been harboring ill-will towards a character for her help in events to which she was actually opposed. I also led myself on while reading into believing something devastating wasn't going to happen and that it was my skewed feelings about it distorting my memory--but of course that ended up being the one true memory I kept... I'm glad that this time around, I knew the terrible cliff-hanger is coming! So I didn't throw the book at the ending and instead could get right to starting the new installment: Mirror Sight.

Mistborn: Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) (original rec. by Valerie)
I feel bad that it's taken me this long to complete this great series! It was hard at times, because I would confuse abilities in this world with the Kingkiller Chronicles world and with the Green Rider World (since those were also pretty immersive worlds). But this series, and this final book especially, held more plot revelations from seemingly insignificant data spread about the previous two installments than I can remember reading in another series. Everything fit together so spectacularly, and I never saw 97% of them coming. I really appreciate being kept on my toes so thoroughly to the very last page!

Mirror Sight (Green Rider Series #5)
.....how to describe this book with out spoilers and with out driving anyone away from the first four books in the series....
Well, to just be frank and non-lyrical about this: I didn't like this book. I really didn't like this book. And it's not because the story progressed in a way I didn't like. This is just my opinion, but while I respect the author for wanting to try new things in her writing, experimenting in this already established series felt like a betrayal. Despite vehement assertions from "the opposition", I don't think that Karigan grew at all in this story. In fact, I saw her as acting more childish than when we first meet her on the road running away from school in the first book. We're forced to read on and on about flat characters that have only just been introduced and hold little to no consequence, while not hearing any progress from everyone we've been waiting for. Precedents and laws established for this story's "universe" previously honored are seemingly tossed aside in the interest of shock-value and convenience. Loose ends abound as insignificant details are teased at the reader and then hold absolutely no significance later.
I can go on, but it's already been too painful reading it, I don't really care to write anymore about it. Needless to say I will not be re-reading it when the next book comes out in a few years. I sincerely want to believe in the author and the series, because the first four installments are so perfect to me. But I'm worried what the future of the series will look like, now. And that's something I never had to fear for before...

YOU GUYS

(Everyone but Nat, Jen, and Kat, you can go away, this is going to be personal)

(uhhh, I meant that in a polite for-warning sort-of-way, and not the really mean way it came out ><; )

I can't even.

So, I'm just going to do this to the stream of consciousness I had going on when I first started:

"You sent me a box?! I have a box!!!!"

"How did you know I've secretly been missing Tang like crazy?!!? HOW?!!"

"PUMPKIN!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY EVER!!!"

" oh.... TTATT "

"adfkjghadriug TT__A__TT "

*pull it together, pull it together...*

(this was the point that I could see again, and immediately was like "what's this? It's going in my hair")
"HOW ARDENTLY I LOVE YOUUUUUUU *sob*"

My Natalie <3

"THIS IS AWESOME!!"

"Read me :D"

This diagram made me laugh and helped me stop crying for a bit haha

"It's your Avatar as Captain Planet and Sokka as "HEART!" shirt!!!"

"FOR THE PUMPKIN ;^;"

Another great thing that helped me laugh, because I immediately sing it in my head, and imagine their little kick dancing move haha (and I didn't see this coming at all ;w;)

"I love you guyssssssss"

"And you KNEW what you were doing hahaa"

"Because I can't"

".............."

"Okay! onto USB"

"You named it A-Chan :D"

"AHAAA!"

"IT'S FULL OF GHIBLI!!!!!!"

"Also cat approved pictures and in progress shots are lovely~"

And then I did a video response here.

You guys are truly spectacular. And I'm bewildered at how blessed I am that you are so thoughtful and loving to me. It's cliched, but I'm at a loss for words. I'M HONORED TO BE YOUR FIREND p*^*q


(and in case you were curious this is the actual quote from Mr. Knightly that I was trying to say ><;)

"I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

A Long Awaited Reunion

My day started at 4:30am. From there it was driving through the mountains, getting lost and then taking a train to arrive exactly two hours before my flight to the airport. And then waiting all that time as it took barely five minutes total to check in and go through security at such an hour (11am on a Monday must be a really unpopular time to travel...). Arriving in Tokyo and then waiting some more until finally mom is through customs and we can start our adventures together after 4:30pm (how's that for neat timing?).

Our Hostel was a nice little place in south Asakusa, and after depositing our things and catching our breath, we set off in search of food and to acquaint ourselves with the surroundings. Dinner was had at a lovely little bar that served great Indian style curry with a barkeep most surprised and relieved to have a foreigner able to converse in Japanese. After dinner we walked and caught up, seeing the city illuminated by night. 

Day One:

First stop, Shinjuku-gyoen.

A mother fond of gardens and the outdoors is easy to please in such a green-conscious land. Armed with subway map and little red book (filled with directions), we made our way into the sun and heat and jungle--both concrete and verdant.

(This little turtle friend swam up to us and stayed posed ever so politely~)

"Who's been painting my roses red?!" and orange, and pink, and....

Lovely green house

Next up, Meiji-jingu.

Having been to Tokyo before with a class and again with friends, there were a few staples that I had to return to. The Meiji Shine was the first (after a ramen pit stop, of course).

(my excellent selfie-skills are truly my artistic calling)

Flawless

(at least she puts up with me~)

Next up, Harajuku.

When one is already at the subway stop for the Meiji Shrine, why not take a short jaunt across the street (and down memory lane) to Harujuku and Takeshitadori?

While we traversed the streets and window shopped a bit, we were beginning to feel a bit fatigued, and a garden topped Starbucks provided just the oasis to re-charge.

I don't really think the fashion-y things were too enthralling for Maman, though she did seem bemused by the drastic difference in denizens and dresses observed. We were on our way to our next destination, which was:

Shibuya

Shibuya Crossing, famous for the flood of people swarming its streets as well as the sweet nostalgia of the Hachiko statue in it's tiny park, was a natural "stop" on our list.

After delving into a Lush store we then made our way to Shibuya 109, the shopping monolith (and apparent base for defenders of justice).

After delicious Freshness black-bean burgers and a few more perusals, we made our way home for the evening.

Day Two:

First stop, Imperial Palace Gardens.

I, in my infinite wisdom, gave myself the advice not to bring sneakers since it would make my one carry-on bag heavy and I'd be too hot to wear them. Of Course. I follow the Not-So-Good advice I give myself, but I can't be bothered when I give myself Very-Good Advice to even seldom follow it... Thus, my feet felt awful from a full day prior walking in flat-soled sandals and I caused us to lag throughout the day.

But no matter! They still managed to observe that the D'Yer Wall(s) held soundly!

Imperial Lamp!

(Imperial Koi! and really dirty water...)

The representative Hokkaido tree in the Imperial glade looked rather like a cousin to Charlie Brown's Christmas tree ^^;; 

Imperial Music Hall!

View from the Imperial Lookout!

(yes... okay.. I'll stop~)

Matching Scouts~

IMPERIAL MOAT :D
can't stop, won't stop

.....Zombie-PacMan Fountain, anyone?

Next stop, Tokyo National Museum.

WITH GIANT WHALE!

...and obligatory pictures of Japanese-y things (that I actually think are pretty cool)

Like detailed armor...

Complete with cool face mask...

And extremely uncomfortable looking pine saddle...

Also lovely screens...

Filled with wonderfully preserved detail...

And creepy masks....................O_____O

(that one isn't even as bad as the previous one even though the other one is supposed to be the human...)

Courtesans gossiping

And lovely treasures, indeed.

It helps that the buildings looked rather lovely, as well...

And that we sat for breaks often...

Next up, Kaminarimon and Senso-ji.

This day was filled with firsts for me as well, and we kept a decent pace for traversing the city to see them all. Last in the little red book's pages of destinations was actually a place I heard mentioned from the English textbook I use in my classes, and it so happened to be connected to our other destination. So after deliciously rejuvenating pizza, they continued on to the Gate of Thunder.

Which, apparently, we should have tried to reach earlier in the day than 5pm, because the various shops had begun to close.

But it was still a lovely place

(and I apologize for the zillion pictures of the pagoda I took...)

Gargoyle at the peak~

Bonus: Sky Tree

One of my co-workers had a request, so we stopped over at the Sky Tree for a quick purchase and the reward of crepes,

The next day was spent traveling back to the airport, flying to New Chitose, dropping off mom's suitcases at my car, then taking another train into Sapporo proper and checking into our hotel. It was hot and gross and exhausting, but we ventured back to the JR Tower shopping center to catch an English voiced (and Japanese subbed) version of Godzilla (AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER, OKAY?!) and some delicious curry before turning in for the night. 

Sapporo Day

First stop, Hokkaido Museum of Modern Art: Sapporo International Art Festival.

We finally made it inside after an unnecessarily confusing encounter at the ticket counter (Yes, I speak Japanese and realize I'm telling you I only want admission to this museum. No, I didn't misspeak and no, you don't need the college volunteer to repeat to you what I just said and try to persuade me to purchase different tickets. No.)

*sigh*

The exhibit itself was lovely, and the Colorado women we met at the ticket window (also being misunderstood) was charming to speak to, so all was well.

infinity swirl~

Over-all, a pretty neat place 

Next, Sapporo Summer Festival Gardens

We had the whole day to kill, and so we wandered (and then I got us lost ><;) Sapporo's streets, now in the height of their Summer Garden and Beer Garden glory.

busy little bee...

We meandered our way through the multiple storied and complex-ed shopping center around Sapporo station, but eventually returned early for an evening of reading and recuperating (one of us jet-lagged and the other foot-sore). 

The next day we set off early and returned down through the mountain road to Shimizu. All-in-all, we are pretty proud of our whirl-wind "urban" explorations, and it was great being able to show off my new home.