Mawige is wat bwings us togeder tooday

(Yes, I'm posting this way after the fact. I was emotionally compromised for a quite a while afterwards.)

After hearing the murmurings in the fall, the engagement in the winter, and all of the planning through the spring: I was finally off to Michigan for my best friend's wedding in mid-May.

It was planned so carefully, Valerie's three week break from Vet school rotations and my hoarded vacation days. I arrived two weeks before the wedding and the roomies were re-united in one house to themselves one last time.

Before I arrived, I was afraid that two weeks before the wedding there would be little left for me to help with. And oh, was I mistaken. Not that I myself was terribly helpful, but there were many of the fine details left to finish. Folding and creating the flowers for the centerpieces, arranging table seating arrangements and completing the escort card boards, finalizing bridal shower and bachelorette party details and their execution... fine details that brought friends together for craft nights and working movie marathons where we knocked out detail after detail to the antics of rogue llama emperors and WWII prisoners of war sabotaging the Germans. It was a whirlwind of lists, hot glue, and everyone's preferred caffeinated drinks.

I was so blessed to be able to see and visit with so many lovely people. I had an entire day with (most of) the Gaang; re-united at long last. The Kathryn and I had bookstore wanderings and cafe chats. Katlin traveled an hour after work just for us to have a few hours meandering campus (all three of those outings also included eating sushi, ironically). Golden Harvest with Val and Allegra, the art fair with Kari and Kathryn, family dinner with Geoff and Mama and Papa G, talking with Ashley and Kari until we were all nodding off, crying with Kari after napping and watching The Help, the Mother's Day with the Rupert ladies (+Alex and Uncle Bob, -Caitlyn) and the afternoon with my mom inevitably taking us to a bookstore and adding more books to our never-ending To-Read lists... And of course, every single moment I got to spend with Valerie.

I've been trying to figure out how to describe everything that I was feeling during that time and what I've felt since the wedding and returning to Japan. It would be easy to say it's some combination of happy/sad, but that's as close to describing it as saying the pond in your backyard can describe the ocean. But that puts in mind Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane, so let's play this out: In my years on this planet I've become familiar with my pool of emotions. I know what will send ripples and I know the storms that frequent it. I'm getting better at choosing which battles to fight and when to seek a safe harbor to ride it out. What I was not prepared for in this event, was how deep the reverberations traveled. I did an okay job keeping the surface together I think (I only cried when it wouldn't effect the ceremony/flow of events), but I'm still recovering and figuring out the depth of what this is. There's an ocean's worth of water mingling and churning and creating currents I wasn't aware of until now and am at a loss to understand or explain.

I was and am so thankful and filled with joy that I was able to be part of such a momentous time in a dear friend's life. I was and am filled with the love of my friends and family that I was able to seek out time with. I fell so incredibly blessed to be able to stay in contact with everyone while I am over here in Japan, and that I'm thought of at all. For every feeling of love, I also struggle(d) with feeling guilty for being given so much when I deserve so little. I struggle(d) with the guilt of being the one responsible for being absent for so long and planning on being absent for yet another year and a half. I struggle(d) with knowing logically no one blames me for that and accepting it's natural and healthy that all of us are spreading out and trying to make our way in the world. I was/am absolutely bursting with happiness for Valerie marrying Sean, because he's someone I respect and know they'll help make the other's strengths stronger. I was/am desolate at the thought that she's not exclusively mine anymore, and feel adrift. I feel guilty realizing I relied on her to anchor me, and frustrated with myself for possibly burdening her. I'm worried I am burdening my other friends with out realizing it. I'm struggling to accept that because they care for me (God only knows why) they don't mind being supportive. I'm struggling with the friends that are leaving Japan in a few short weeks and the fear of the tidal wave that hit me the night of the wedding coming back for round two. I'm also content being in Japan and don't feel like it is a mistake for me to be here for another year. But it's still a struggle every day to get up and remember that God is the source of my joy and not my circumstances or my ocean of feelings.

(All that being said I still don't feel like it's even touching on everything, but that's enough soul-bearing don't you agree? ...)

The wedding was beautiful. Valerie was beautiful. Sean's smile when he saw her for the first time walking down the aisle was beautiful. I feel as if I never have to get married myself since this wedding and the happiness and love I felt for the couple couldn't possibly be matched. I'm so grateful for my stolen time there, and the week in Maryland after (stirring up too many emotions of its own that I will not be going into). I'm resolved to cherish my time here (I refuse to succumb to to my watery lamentations without a fight) and I'm excited to see Valerie and Sean building their lives together.


Bonus! Pictures

Friend Fun Times:

Gaang's all here!

Our hair is strangely the same length...

Happy together~

Eating at a Japanese restaurant, of course~

A Wild Kathryn Appears!

And there is much rejoicing!

Golden Harvest is SO worth getting up early to stand in line for~

Shire <3

An adventurous outing together~

With refreshments!

Wedding:

(And in the unfortunate case you didn't catch the title's reference you should definitely take the time out of your day for some happiness.)

A Long Awaited Reunion

My day started at 4:30am. From there it was driving through the mountains, getting lost and then taking a train to arrive exactly two hours before my flight to the airport. And then waiting all that time as it took barely five minutes total to check in and go through security at such an hour (11am on a Monday must be a really unpopular time to travel...). Arriving in Tokyo and then waiting some more until finally mom is through customs and we can start our adventures together after 4:30pm (how's that for neat timing?).

Our Hostel was a nice little place in south Asakusa, and after depositing our things and catching our breath, we set off in search of food and to acquaint ourselves with the surroundings. Dinner was had at a lovely little bar that served great Indian style curry with a barkeep most surprised and relieved to have a foreigner able to converse in Japanese. After dinner we walked and caught up, seeing the city illuminated by night. 

Day One:

First stop, Shinjuku-gyoen.

A mother fond of gardens and the outdoors is easy to please in such a green-conscious land. Armed with subway map and little red book (filled with directions), we made our way into the sun and heat and jungle--both concrete and verdant.

(This little turtle friend swam up to us and stayed posed ever so politely~)

"Who's been painting my roses red?!" and orange, and pink, and....

Lovely green house

Next up, Meiji-jingu.

Having been to Tokyo before with a class and again with friends, there were a few staples that I had to return to. The Meiji Shine was the first (after a ramen pit stop, of course).

(my excellent selfie-skills are truly my artistic calling)

Flawless

(at least she puts up with me~)

Next up, Harajuku.

When one is already at the subway stop for the Meiji Shrine, why not take a short jaunt across the street (and down memory lane) to Harujuku and Takeshitadori?

While we traversed the streets and window shopped a bit, we were beginning to feel a bit fatigued, and a garden topped Starbucks provided just the oasis to re-charge.

I don't really think the fashion-y things were too enthralling for Maman, though she did seem bemused by the drastic difference in denizens and dresses observed. We were on our way to our next destination, which was:

Shibuya

Shibuya Crossing, famous for the flood of people swarming its streets as well as the sweet nostalgia of the Hachiko statue in it's tiny park, was a natural "stop" on our list.

After delving into a Lush store we then made our way to Shibuya 109, the shopping monolith (and apparent base for defenders of justice).

After delicious Freshness black-bean burgers and a few more perusals, we made our way home for the evening.

Day Two:

First stop, Imperial Palace Gardens.

I, in my infinite wisdom, gave myself the advice not to bring sneakers since it would make my one carry-on bag heavy and I'd be too hot to wear them. Of Course. I follow the Not-So-Good advice I give myself, but I can't be bothered when I give myself Very-Good Advice to even seldom follow it... Thus, my feet felt awful from a full day prior walking in flat-soled sandals and I caused us to lag throughout the day.

But no matter! They still managed to observe that the D'Yer Wall(s) held soundly!

Imperial Lamp!

(Imperial Koi! and really dirty water...)

The representative Hokkaido tree in the Imperial glade looked rather like a cousin to Charlie Brown's Christmas tree ^^;; 

Imperial Music Hall!

View from the Imperial Lookout!

(yes... okay.. I'll stop~)

Matching Scouts~

IMPERIAL MOAT :D
can't stop, won't stop

.....Zombie-PacMan Fountain, anyone?

Next stop, Tokyo National Museum.

WITH GIANT WHALE!

...and obligatory pictures of Japanese-y things (that I actually think are pretty cool)

Like detailed armor...

Complete with cool face mask...

And extremely uncomfortable looking pine saddle...

Also lovely screens...

Filled with wonderfully preserved detail...

And creepy masks....................O_____O

(that one isn't even as bad as the previous one even though the other one is supposed to be the human...)

Courtesans gossiping

And lovely treasures, indeed.

It helps that the buildings looked rather lovely, as well...

And that we sat for breaks often...

Next up, Kaminarimon and Senso-ji.

This day was filled with firsts for me as well, and we kept a decent pace for traversing the city to see them all. Last in the little red book's pages of destinations was actually a place I heard mentioned from the English textbook I use in my classes, and it so happened to be connected to our other destination. So after deliciously rejuvenating pizza, they continued on to the Gate of Thunder.

Which, apparently, we should have tried to reach earlier in the day than 5pm, because the various shops had begun to close.

But it was still a lovely place

(and I apologize for the zillion pictures of the pagoda I took...)

Gargoyle at the peak~

Bonus: Sky Tree

One of my co-workers had a request, so we stopped over at the Sky Tree for a quick purchase and the reward of crepes,

The next day was spent traveling back to the airport, flying to New Chitose, dropping off mom's suitcases at my car, then taking another train into Sapporo proper and checking into our hotel. It was hot and gross and exhausting, but we ventured back to the JR Tower shopping center to catch an English voiced (and Japanese subbed) version of Godzilla (AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER, OKAY?!) and some delicious curry before turning in for the night. 

Sapporo Day

First stop, Hokkaido Museum of Modern Art: Sapporo International Art Festival.

We finally made it inside after an unnecessarily confusing encounter at the ticket counter (Yes, I speak Japanese and realize I'm telling you I only want admission to this museum. No, I didn't misspeak and no, you don't need the college volunteer to repeat to you what I just said and try to persuade me to purchase different tickets. No.)

*sigh*

The exhibit itself was lovely, and the Colorado women we met at the ticket window (also being misunderstood) was charming to speak to, so all was well.

infinity swirl~

Over-all, a pretty neat place 

Next, Sapporo Summer Festival Gardens

We had the whole day to kill, and so we wandered (and then I got us lost ><;) Sapporo's streets, now in the height of their Summer Garden and Beer Garden glory.

busy little bee...

We meandered our way through the multiple storied and complex-ed shopping center around Sapporo station, but eventually returned early for an evening of reading and recuperating (one of us jet-lagged and the other foot-sore). 

The next day we set off early and returned down through the mountain road to Shimizu. All-in-all, we are pretty proud of our whirl-wind "urban" explorations, and it was great being able to show off my new home.